Do you care that you lose braincells by doing stupid things?
do you care about the people who actuallly love you?
do you care that you hurt girls physically and mentally just to get some action?
do you care if you tell rumors about something you did do?
do you care about anything?
do you care about if you say nasty things to people and they get affected?
do you care if you end up with no friends?
do you care if you end up with no future?
do you care if you end up as a nothing?
yeah, obiviously you dont. Yeah you have hurt everyone you have talked to. Stop fucking up everyone's lifes, biotch.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
summer nights
the sun shines high and mighty,
sitting in the bright green grass,
playing music til i can't play any longer,
as i fall asleep underneath the blanket of stars,
sitting in the Bright green grass,
i take pictures that are filled with laughter and smiles,
as i fall asleep underneath the blanket of stars
i dream of you.
the sun shines high and mighty,
playing music till i can't play any longer,
it starts to rain,
but i don't get up; i let it fall till I'm soaked
i take pictures that are filled with laughter and smiles,
i dream of you,
it starts to rain,
but i don't get up; i let it fall till I'm soaked.
sitting in the bright green grass,
playing music til i can't play any longer,
as i fall asleep underneath the blanket of stars,
sitting in the Bright green grass,
i take pictures that are filled with laughter and smiles,
as i fall asleep underneath the blanket of stars
i dream of you.
the sun shines high and mighty,
playing music till i can't play any longer,
it starts to rain,
but i don't get up; i let it fall till I'm soaked
i take pictures that are filled with laughter and smiles,
i dream of you,
it starts to rain,
but i don't get up; i let it fall till I'm soaked.
quickly learned
This summer has been incredible! Meeting new people, staying late under the stars, and just laughing through the night. My friend Carys and i have been hanging every day, every week, sleepover after sleepover, we have been together. Quickly learned, We have started to hang with these guys that we thought was so attractive. They could dance, make us laugh and keep the long summer days entertained. Every one thought they were so adorable and hot, everyone to hang with them. Yeah i dated one of the cutest ones out of them all, but quickly learned i found out hes not the hot shit everyone thought he was. When i saw him smoking weed, getting high and drunk i was so surprised. Yeah it was entertaining to watch what they do, but i was so disappointed in all of them and they're choices. He completely forgot what we had between us. Yeah, now we are still friends but i just thought he was a good boy that did young life. You quickly learn that people don't always turn out how you plan. I just cant believe he chooses to do that stuff. He tells me i should throw parties and peer pressure me into doing that shit they do. They can't stand that Carys and i don't want to ruin our lifes. I'm still there friends, but i just thought they were different. They told me once, that they like hanging around me because well I'm a positive role model for them. They still continue, sitting in the same room, by the window smoking cigarette after cigarette. But you will quickly learn, nothing turns out as you plan. No one seems to be the same as you. No one has the same life style and friends that i do. IT will catch up quickly to them, and forever i stay pure. Haven't fallen into peer pressure. And i am proud of it.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
nine months old
still very young
wondered why me?
Long nights of crying,
many bottles of water,
what is going wrong?
Shot after shot,
prick after prick,
toes bruised
from the pain.
Mother finding me on the floor,
passed out,
from my pancreas,
not doing its job.
Many hospital visits,
worry after worry
when would this end?
Failing tests,
missed recitals,
when can i take a breath?
Tubing and sites,
insulin pump attached,
when will i be free?
Leaving sleepovers,
feel worthless,
when could i be normal again?
Thoughts whirled in my mind,
Why me?
God you did this
not to punish me
but to make me stronger.
To Find faith in you,
to find the love,
to find the comfort.
Raising money,
feeling loved,
there will be a cure soon.
mommy and daddy,
telll me,
that one day,
it will be wiped away forever.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Reign in Me Lord!
This weekend was a weekend i would never forget. It was so amazing. To be honest, i really didn't want to go at first i was dreading every minute of it. It was just another weekend that i would waste my time when i could be doing something better. My thoughts were reversed by the end of the weekend. It turned out to be the best weekend of my entire life. This retreat was called "discovery". We do exactly what the title says. We have no idea what we do, but we figure things we never knew about God, relationships, and ourselves. The thing that wasn't so bad was i got to spend the weekend with my two besties Sarah and Tess. Plus it was at Smith Mountain Lake. When we finally met the end of the road we got out of the car, got our stuff and headed to the door. We didn't know what to expect when we enter through the double doors, but we were greeted by guys caring our stuff to the dorm for us. Well that was really nice i thought to myself. We signed in, got our name tags and entered the big room of chairs. All 78 people were almost there. We joined the circle and entered the game they were playing. Then we moved on to this game where you had to go up to one person and say "Baby i love, will you please give me a smile?" and if you smile you have to do it to someone else. Its very amusing once you get the point. Some people would really get into it and others would go through the whole circle and not make one person laugh. It was pretty entertaining. Of course me laughing at everything i see i laughed before they even asked me. :D
Then we counted off into 9 groups and we went to circle with everyone from that number. We went in a circle and told each one of them and tell them about our life's. Of course knowing me i said "Hey I'm Liv, i go to cave spring high school and OLN and i play harp, guitar and snowboard. right as i said the word guitar i see this guy named Joe pop out of his chair and say "YOU PLAY GUITAR??????" " yesss" i answered shyly. Right as i answered he was running to go get a guitar to hear me play. I wasn't expecting this at all. Soon enough i was up in the middle of 78 people, playing songs with them. It was the first 15 MINUTES! I was definitely starting to like this place a lot. I was thrilled to see what else the weekend held for me and for my two best friends. We join back into 78 people and we went over the rules. They started to call out group numbers, and of course Sarah, Tess or me were together. I watched as both left and i was the last group table number 9! Which was probably the best table you could ever imagine. We soon became close friends. It felt like i had known them for a long time. This group was consumed of Ashley Jozwicki (SQUEAKER), Joe Mcdaniel (MCDIDDY), J.C. Hesson (BULL), Ben Cardenas (BIRD), Alex, Megan, Big Scott,Mary, and of course me Liv (PICKLE). We were already starting to love one of another. We all headed to the dorms and we spilt into two talking abotut he struggles in our life's. I was with J.C. and it felt like we were already brother and sister. We just let out what was bugging us like we had known each other forever. I could say that that was truly amazing. It was really amazing how this was turning out so far.
We walk back up to the main meeting room and we went over some More general rules. Soon enough we walked back to the cabins, showered, and headed to bed. It was already 2:30 and we had to get up at 6. Oh boy i thought. I put my name tag on the side of my bed and tucked myself in. Prior to this, the leaders warned us of people taking our nametags. I thought "who would want to take my name tag?" So i just ingored it like i do everything else and turned the lights off.
Then we woke up to music as loud as a dance party and we wondered what it was. I opened the door and i found Joe with an amp blasting Ozzy Osbourne through his electric guitar. I knew they warned us that the wake up crew would come but i wasnt expecting this at all. Non of us were. We got ready, brushed our teeeth, and headed out to the lake for some songs before breakfast. It was so pretty walking down the huge hill and seeing the sunshine glistening on the water. I just wanted to stare at it all day. Shortly after that, we went into the main hall and of course me and sarah still didn't have our name tags. So when they called our names, we had to get in front of everyone and do something embrassing. Oh jeeze i thought. "Im a little teapot short and.." Thats what we had to do. A dance to im a little tea pot. Oh i was laughing so hard i couldnt even do it.
After breakfast we had a few meaningful talks and dicussions. Then we made our poster and our table was called the "Ko-Winky-Dinkz" which had us as teletubeys on them. Dont ask how we came up with that i dont even know. But we were proud of it. After that we breaked for lunch, and hopped back into 2 more lessons. The 4th lesson was the best one yet. They gave us these bags of letters which had letters hand written to all of u s from the leaders and priests. Then one from our mom/dad. We spilt , leading myself to the top bunk of my cabin. I opened the one from my mom first. There were a miillion pages from her. I knew i was going to cry. As soon as i got to the second page, the water works started to turn and everyone was looking at me. I didn't realize how important my mom was to me and all the times when she has picked me up on my feet when i have been knocked down. I was so emotional; i wanted to give my mom the biggest hug after reading it. It made me be thankful that i have as wonderful as her. She is so willing and would do anything from me.
As soon as i finished all the letters, all three of us walked down to the lake and watched half on the sunset before we had to go back in. I was still in amazement from what all the things i read.We walked back in, and we had dinner, pasta and bread, and continued with our lessons. Then we all lit candles, while the guitarists played, over to the chruch where we would have our first mass. I was walking and playing "The santuary". When we got there it was completely quiet, with only the fire crackling. We had a few readings and then Father Randy gave us a talk.
Soon after, Anna Smith and Brandon did a skit that stuck in my mind so perfectly. Anna was hanging out with Jesus and she didnt know whicch she wanted to do. Go to a party, or talk with Jesus. We don't know how great our lord is. Then you see Anna hammer into his hands. Then as she looked back she started to cry. We put friends and parties before the Lord and thats our biggest mistake in our lifes. We have to have some space for the lord and he should always come first in our lifes before other things. Because if we put all of our life into parties and friends, were going to fall short everytime.
We then got into prayer circles as we waited to go into Reconcilation. "Reconocilation" i repeated in my mind. I know i did it with communion but i was questioning what to do, what to say, and how to act. I was starting to shake thinking where i was going to cry or say the wrong thing. As i waited in line, i read over the card where i wrote down all the sins i wanted to be taken away. I follow one of the leaders to the screen where i would be talk ing to the priest. When i saw the leader wave me in i walked through the screen and sat down in a chair across from him. I told him the sins i had commited, looking down at the card folded in my hands. I was getting choked up and he understood what i was feeling. He told me a couple of prayers to make things better, and trust me its made everything better. I got up out the chair and started walking towards the fire. Before i threw in my card i looked down at the card, closed my hands, and thew it in. I watch it be consumed in the flames and burn up till it was all ash. Walking away, i went over to the candles, all 78, that were in the shape of a cross. I grabbed the lighter and lit one. At the momment where the lighter hit the candle i felt a spark in my heart. A spark that was his love working through me. It was burning up my inside and mind all about the lord. I loved this, it felt like i had no doubts, no troubles, just me and god speaking and his love was making this happen.After washing my hands in holy water, i went to join a prayer group, praying about all the hurt in the world. After hearing around the circle about all the hurt in theyre life's, it made me realize how much fortunate i am to others. I thought about how i had a healthy family, a roof under my head, and food/water. Some people don't eat for a week. Some people have family issues that can't be fixed. It made me realize how lucky i was compared to other people around me. I thank the lord where i stand right now, but i pray to take away all the hurt in peoples life's. I pray that people who are lost will find the light of Christ and discover his love. I hate seeing people hurt but there will always be a reason for everything that happens in our lifes.
After about 4 hours of this, the leaders called us up and put cross necklaces around us. We went by our tables, so there went 1,2,3,4,5, until it was our turn to go up. This crossed symbolized how we need to be true to our to the Lord and also ourselves.When i hear" table 9" i jumped and got up making my way towards the leaders. When Mary put the necklace over my head, it fell perfectly around my neck. Suddenly, everything seemed different. I looked down at the necklace and it made me think that even though it doesn't feel like Christ is with me, he always is like this necklace will be. It will hang perfectly around my neck close to my heart. I loved this necklace. It just made me think about how it symbolizes that the lord is going to be with you every step of the way no matter what the cause is. And if hes not hes carrying you to get to your next step. He picks you up when you are down and its amazing how he performs miracles. I felt the tears coming but i held them back.
Then we said a few prayers, and then got back on our feet to sing about our Mighty Lord. I could feel he was right beside all of us and it was just amazing to see that. I could hear his voice singing with us and it was abosolutely incredible.After all of the songs, we headed back to the main metting room and they told us that we were going to make up skits about discovery. Let me tell you, it was one of the funniest things i have ever watched. People made fun of our table but i gotta say they did it beautifully (:
After doing skits till 2:30, we decided to go back, take showers and get some sleep. YES SLEEP screamed in my mind. Not to shortly, we would be waking up again. It blew my mind that at this time tomorro we would be in our beds sleeping at home. This weekend went by to fast and i was going to miss this place and the people a ton.
At 7 o'clock sharp i felt Alex poking me to get up. Even though i didn't get any sleep before i was excited to see what today brought us. I got up and adem and headed towards the meeting area while we waited for breakfast. I didn't realize how starving i was. After eating, we had a few more lessons and they were meaningful as usual. then we went outside to be with our group for the last itme. We wrote on note cards about what gifts we saw in each and everyone one of them including ourselves. We read them out loud with one hand blessing them. Every person, or living thing is a gift to the world. IT was so cool hearing everyone heard say nice things about me that i will never forget. I was so blessed to have them in my lifes and to be encouraging me through out the days. We got all the 9 cards people wrote about us and we stapled them to a ribbon. It was cool because whever i look at it now before i go to bed, i will always have that love deep down in my heart. I love them so much and they will never leave my mind. With the sun shining on our skin we just laughed and had a great time together for the last time. After this and lunch we went to go get dressed for the mass and have our 2nd tiny mass. Next we grabbed a guy and walked in with them. i picked BIRD cause you know, he was the funniest kid ever. Throughtout the mass i played some songs with the music group and listened hard to the mass. I thought to myself how much i was missing out on mass and how i would zone out for most of it. I thought about my parents and how they have been such a inspiration to continue the ways of the lord. After we got the pretty fish pins and got regonized they put together a slide show of all the pictures and memmories we had. Bird and i were cracking up the whole time because they showed all of these embrassing pictures of us. It was great, but funny at the same time! Then the momment i didn't want to come, saying goodbyes. I loved everyone here it was just like a huge family. But i knew it was going to end eventually. I said goodbye to all of my friends that i had made which was hard cause through out the weekend i found out somehting special about them that no one else ever knew. I'm so glad i went to Discovery because you can discover things about people, God, and us that we never knew was there. I discovered more about our lord and how amazing and tremendous he is. Hes our lord, creator, hes emanunal, hes the alpha, omega, the truth and the life. He's the only way of life. When you dont see a set of footprints beside you thats when the lord was carrying through all the tough times. He taught me soo much this weekend i could never thank him enough. I will always bow down on my knees to him before anyone else. Hes the only answer to life. If you ever have an oppurtnity to go to this retreat i recommend going. You might think its stupid to go at first but it diffianately changed my life.
Then we counted off into 9 groups and we went to circle with everyone from that number. We went in a circle and told each one of them and tell them about our life's. Of course knowing me i said "Hey I'm Liv, i go to cave spring high school and OLN and i play harp, guitar and snowboard. right as i said the word guitar i see this guy named Joe pop out of his chair and say "YOU PLAY GUITAR??????" " yesss" i answered shyly. Right as i answered he was running to go get a guitar to hear me play. I wasn't expecting this at all. Soon enough i was up in the middle of 78 people, playing songs with them. It was the first 15 MINUTES! I was definitely starting to like this place a lot. I was thrilled to see what else the weekend held for me and for my two best friends. We join back into 78 people and we went over the rules. They started to call out group numbers, and of course Sarah, Tess or me were together. I watched as both left and i was the last group table number 9! Which was probably the best table you could ever imagine. We soon became close friends. It felt like i had known them for a long time. This group was consumed of Ashley Jozwicki (SQUEAKER), Joe Mcdaniel (MCDIDDY), J.C. Hesson (BULL), Ben Cardenas (BIRD), Alex, Megan, Big Scott,Mary, and of course me Liv (PICKLE). We were already starting to love one of another. We all headed to the dorms and we spilt into two talking abotut he struggles in our life's. I was with J.C. and it felt like we were already brother and sister. We just let out what was bugging us like we had known each other forever. I could say that that was truly amazing. It was really amazing how this was turning out so far.
We walk back up to the main meeting room and we went over some More general rules. Soon enough we walked back to the cabins, showered, and headed to bed. It was already 2:30 and we had to get up at 6. Oh boy i thought. I put my name tag on the side of my bed and tucked myself in. Prior to this, the leaders warned us of people taking our nametags. I thought "who would want to take my name tag?" So i just ingored it like i do everything else and turned the lights off.
Then we woke up to music as loud as a dance party and we wondered what it was. I opened the door and i found Joe with an amp blasting Ozzy Osbourne through his electric guitar. I knew they warned us that the wake up crew would come but i wasnt expecting this at all. Non of us were. We got ready, brushed our teeeth, and headed out to the lake for some songs before breakfast. It was so pretty walking down the huge hill and seeing the sunshine glistening on the water. I just wanted to stare at it all day. Shortly after that, we went into the main hall and of course me and sarah still didn't have our name tags. So when they called our names, we had to get in front of everyone and do something embrassing. Oh jeeze i thought. "Im a little teapot short and.." Thats what we had to do. A dance to im a little tea pot. Oh i was laughing so hard i couldnt even do it.
After breakfast we had a few meaningful talks and dicussions. Then we made our poster and our table was called the "Ko-Winky-Dinkz" which had us as teletubeys on them. Dont ask how we came up with that i dont even know. But we were proud of it. After that we breaked for lunch, and hopped back into 2 more lessons. The 4th lesson was the best one yet. They gave us these bags of letters which had letters hand written to all of u s from the leaders and priests. Then one from our mom/dad. We spilt , leading myself to the top bunk of my cabin. I opened the one from my mom first. There were a miillion pages from her. I knew i was going to cry. As soon as i got to the second page, the water works started to turn and everyone was looking at me. I didn't realize how important my mom was to me and all the times when she has picked me up on my feet when i have been knocked down. I was so emotional; i wanted to give my mom the biggest hug after reading it. It made me be thankful that i have as wonderful as her. She is so willing and would do anything from me.
As soon as i finished all the letters, all three of us walked down to the lake and watched half on the sunset before we had to go back in. I was still in amazement from what all the things i read.We walked back in, and we had dinner, pasta and bread, and continued with our lessons. Then we all lit candles, while the guitarists played, over to the chruch where we would have our first mass. I was walking and playing "The santuary". When we got there it was completely quiet, with only the fire crackling. We had a few readings and then Father Randy gave us a talk.
Soon after, Anna Smith and Brandon did a skit that stuck in my mind so perfectly. Anna was hanging out with Jesus and she didnt know whicch she wanted to do. Go to a party, or talk with Jesus. We don't know how great our lord is. Then you see Anna hammer into his hands. Then as she looked back she started to cry. We put friends and parties before the Lord and thats our biggest mistake in our lifes. We have to have some space for the lord and he should always come first in our lifes before other things. Because if we put all of our life into parties and friends, were going to fall short everytime.
We then got into prayer circles as we waited to go into Reconcilation. "Reconocilation" i repeated in my mind. I know i did it with communion but i was questioning what to do, what to say, and how to act. I was starting to shake thinking where i was going to cry or say the wrong thing. As i waited in line, i read over the card where i wrote down all the sins i wanted to be taken away. I follow one of the leaders to the screen where i would be talk ing to the priest. When i saw the leader wave me in i walked through the screen and sat down in a chair across from him. I told him the sins i had commited, looking down at the card folded in my hands. I was getting choked up and he understood what i was feeling. He told me a couple of prayers to make things better, and trust me its made everything better. I got up out the chair and started walking towards the fire. Before i threw in my card i looked down at the card, closed my hands, and thew it in. I watch it be consumed in the flames and burn up till it was all ash. Walking away, i went over to the candles, all 78, that were in the shape of a cross. I grabbed the lighter and lit one. At the momment where the lighter hit the candle i felt a spark in my heart. A spark that was his love working through me. It was burning up my inside and mind all about the lord. I loved this, it felt like i had no doubts, no troubles, just me and god speaking and his love was making this happen.After washing my hands in holy water, i went to join a prayer group, praying about all the hurt in the world. After hearing around the circle about all the hurt in theyre life's, it made me realize how much fortunate i am to others. I thought about how i had a healthy family, a roof under my head, and food/water. Some people don't eat for a week. Some people have family issues that can't be fixed. It made me realize how lucky i was compared to other people around me. I thank the lord where i stand right now, but i pray to take away all the hurt in peoples life's. I pray that people who are lost will find the light of Christ and discover his love. I hate seeing people hurt but there will always be a reason for everything that happens in our lifes.
After about 4 hours of this, the leaders called us up and put cross necklaces around us. We went by our tables, so there went 1,2,3,4,5, until it was our turn to go up. This crossed symbolized how we need to be true to our to the Lord and also ourselves.When i hear" table 9" i jumped and got up making my way towards the leaders. When Mary put the necklace over my head, it fell perfectly around my neck. Suddenly, everything seemed different. I looked down at the necklace and it made me think that even though it doesn't feel like Christ is with me, he always is like this necklace will be. It will hang perfectly around my neck close to my heart. I loved this necklace. It just made me think about how it symbolizes that the lord is going to be with you every step of the way no matter what the cause is. And if hes not hes carrying you to get to your next step. He picks you up when you are down and its amazing how he performs miracles. I felt the tears coming but i held them back.
Then we said a few prayers, and then got back on our feet to sing about our Mighty Lord. I could feel he was right beside all of us and it was just amazing to see that. I could hear his voice singing with us and it was abosolutely incredible.After all of the songs, we headed back to the main metting room and they told us that we were going to make up skits about discovery. Let me tell you, it was one of the funniest things i have ever watched. People made fun of our table but i gotta say they did it beautifully (:
After doing skits till 2:30, we decided to go back, take showers and get some sleep. YES SLEEP screamed in my mind. Not to shortly, we would be waking up again. It blew my mind that at this time tomorro we would be in our beds sleeping at home. This weekend went by to fast and i was going to miss this place and the people a ton.
At 7 o'clock sharp i felt Alex poking me to get up. Even though i didn't get any sleep before i was excited to see what today brought us. I got up and adem and headed towards the meeting area while we waited for breakfast. I didn't realize how starving i was. After eating, we had a few more lessons and they were meaningful as usual. then we went outside to be with our group for the last itme. We wrote on note cards about what gifts we saw in each and everyone one of them including ourselves. We read them out loud with one hand blessing them. Every person, or living thing is a gift to the world. IT was so cool hearing everyone heard say nice things about me that i will never forget. I was so blessed to have them in my lifes and to be encouraging me through out the days. We got all the 9 cards people wrote about us and we stapled them to a ribbon. It was cool because whever i look at it now before i go to bed, i will always have that love deep down in my heart. I love them so much and they will never leave my mind. With the sun shining on our skin we just laughed and had a great time together for the last time. After this and lunch we went to go get dressed for the mass and have our 2nd tiny mass. Next we grabbed a guy and walked in with them. i picked BIRD cause you know, he was the funniest kid ever. Throughtout the mass i played some songs with the music group and listened hard to the mass. I thought to myself how much i was missing out on mass and how i would zone out for most of it. I thought about my parents and how they have been such a inspiration to continue the ways of the lord. After we got the pretty fish pins and got regonized they put together a slide show of all the pictures and memmories we had. Bird and i were cracking up the whole time because they showed all of these embrassing pictures of us. It was great, but funny at the same time! Then the momment i didn't want to come, saying goodbyes. I loved everyone here it was just like a huge family. But i knew it was going to end eventually. I said goodbye to all of my friends that i had made which was hard cause through out the weekend i found out somehting special about them that no one else ever knew. I'm so glad i went to Discovery because you can discover things about people, God, and us that we never knew was there. I discovered more about our lord and how amazing and tremendous he is. Hes our lord, creator, hes emanunal, hes the alpha, omega, the truth and the life. He's the only way of life. When you dont see a set of footprints beside you thats when the lord was carrying through all the tough times. He taught me soo much this weekend i could never thank him enough. I will always bow down on my knees to him before anyone else. Hes the only answer to life. If you ever have an oppurtnity to go to this retreat i recommend going. You might think its stupid to go at first but it diffianately changed my life.
So Guys, will you let the Lord reign in you?
~What Faith Can Do~ by K
Friday, February 11, 2011
the start of something new
The first year of my high school year was one of the best school years i have ever have. Not only it wasn't middle school, but it was a chance to start over, start from scratch. The world seemed so big to me then. My brother was telling me about Young life and how its good to make friends and to learn about God. "Learn about God?" i asked myself a million times. I thought it over for awhile running the idea in my head. I started going to Young life mid November, standing alone waiting for it to start. Suddenly, a girl with short dark hair and a wide smile came running over to me " Hi! I'm Ashley! Whats your name?" "Umm Liv" i was caught of guard by her personality. Well, it didn't take long till we were best friends. I met a lot of her other friends that share the bubbly personalty. Ashley, Kayla, Brooke, and Lauren soon were my best friends. They weren't just friends i could talk with about random stuff that happened that day, but we talked about something totally amazing. "God". Soon my faith grew stronger and they were there for me teaching the word of the lord. That was one of the best years i have ever had. Just giggling and sharing it with people i love the most. Of course they were a few years older then i was and they were seniors. It didn't cross my mind that they would be gone next year. They were my best friends the ones i spent most of my time with and they would be gone in a flash. I would miss the times where we would prank the guys, and sing Justin Bieber for hours, where would that all go? where would the god talks go? I felt empty without them , no soul no thrill to want to learn about Christ's love. A few months later, a lot of things happened that I'm not suppose to say, but they were awful. Things that i wish had never happened. I was questioning god saying "why is this happening to the people i love? why can't it be me?" I talked to Brooke the next night and i told her what all has been happening. The drama, the boys, and of course the pain since they left for college. I told her that i haven't been as strong as i have been before when they were around. I MISSED THEM. Brooke told me that the lord isn't gone. Hes still there for you he hasn't left your side once. She told me that everything would be OK. I still felt empty without my girls. I missed those nights where we would just stare at the stars wondering what would happen next. Brooke told me something i have never heard. She said that Christ was the ones inside of Ashley, Kayla, Brooke and Lauren. It was Christ reassuring that everything would be OK when they comforted me. Its the work of the lord that has driven me to bring myself closer to him and followers of the lord. Everything that happens is him causing it. Hes the light that brings you out of the darkness. He makes all the flowers grow tall and all the birds singing happily. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. We have to accept that. We have to move on from our old lives and start new ones. Its god that is working through us and we have to trust him that the things that happen that causes pain in our hearts, its better in the long run. All this pain and sorrow, he takes the sins away. Its like a ocean washing up on the sea shore. He takes it all away. We have to learn to trust in the lord or we never will get anywhere.
I'm sorry if this is very mixed up but i was just writing down all that was on my heart and Gods heart. Hes a miracle worker when you think about all the good that he has done in your life. be thankful for it. Don't wish for something more than what you have.
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
I'm sorry if this is very mixed up but i was just writing down all that was on my heart and Gods heart. Hes a miracle worker when you think about all the good that he has done in your life. be thankful for it. Don't wish for something more than what you have.
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Color or Darkness?
There are many colors of the world. Some people are colorful and bright and some are dull and live int he darkness. But whats a world without the light? All you have is darkness, shame, blame, and hate. Who wants to live in the world of that? No forgiveness whatsoever. Just no light to be happy or proud of. If you want the light in your life. Accept the real life that got us all of us here, Lord Jesus Christ. The real life is with color it brings out happiness and excitement for life. When i lived in black and white, I never had so much shame in my life. I just wanted to sleep forever and never wake up. I was shy and ashamed.I was scared of people thinking i was different because i had diabetes. I feel like i never felt real love until the day i accepted Christ. Him in my life made everything better. I got so excited learning about his love. Reading the bible, just loving every word from it. When i walk through the school hallways, i look at all the sin and shame. People who have seeked the lord haven't seen love before. When people thrive from violence, and if the newest gossip is.They think that no one will forgive them from the harm that they have done.God is the color of the sin. Christ is the one who died for us and took all the sin in the world. If you sin, he takes it away from you. Its wiped away. Hes there for you every step and decision you make in your life. The center of the life is our Lord, Jesus Christ. He makes everything in your life happen for a reason. Behind each thing that happens, its for the good. It might not feel good at the moment but trust me another door opens when one is closed. So what type of world do you wanna live in?
Color or Darkness?
JESUS CHRIST IS THE WAY OF LIFE! <3
Jesus answered,"I am the way and the truth and the life." John 14:6
A Gift of a Sister
I know this girl who is amazing and i love her so much. Shes my best friend and also my sister for life. Welp, her name is Sarah Catherine Cattigan. It was that year of my first year in public school, 6th grade. This day changed my life forever. She was in the group i started to hang out with. Jessie Dwyer, Olivia Allen, Caroline Whisnant, Louise Snodgrass and the one and only Sarah Cattigan. I love this girl. A few years later we were best friends with another girl. Well we split, leaving me with no best friend. Until one day, we were in science class and we caught eye contact. She gave me a smile and after class we hugged each other until we almost started crying. Later that day we were taking pictures in the school bathroom. I got my best friend back and im so glad we still are. The only thing that has changed is that our relationship has changed. We are sisters together and forever. She is the most beautiful,amazing,funniest girl and of course my bestest friend in the whole wide world.We laugh at the funniest things such as stupid things people say. Its the best. We share are deepest secrets together.We do everything with each other i love her to death (: Our faith in each other has grown much stronger as well. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of best friends to get to the real one. And i have definately found mine. Sarah Catherine Cattigan. Our chain will never been BROKEN. My sister forever and that will never change.
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